Chronic Illness
Chronic illness sometimes is unseen
by others. Others cannot feel what they cannot see.
So if sometimes I look well, but I tell you I am in pain
please do not judge me, I wish I "was" well again.
Illness is not my choice it's what life dealt to me.
For you to disbelieve me or doubt me,
breaks my heart.
For you are my Family, Doctor or even a Good Friend.
Must I earn your "trust" all over again?
Chronic means on and off but always there
Today I may be able to do something, tomorrow maybe I can't
I have to try hard to work within my limit.
Or the next day I may wind up at the clinic.
Funny how when you have a chronic illness and you finally adjust.
You find that it has led to another and you must handle that too.
Sometimes you have two or even more,
oh my what a chore.
Some even tell you, You can't walk anymore.
All of these illnesses robs me of my life.
I can never be normal like you
again.
It is hard for me to accept what I am going through.
I don't need the extra stress trying to convince you.
At times, I have mood swings,
I may snap at you.
If I do I am sorry, please understand,
I am angry at "me."
I try to do what I've done before
perhaps even a simple chore.
But then I find that my muscles don't seem to work anymore.
I want to be that parent, grandmother or friend
the one I "lost" when this illness came upon me.
The one I tried to be when I was there for you.
The one I "was" when I was able to do.
Every time I say no to you, don't be angry at me.
Every no I have to say reminds me
I am "not" normal anymore.
So please, don't doubt me, just try to understand.
It was not my choice! It is just God's Plan.
Written by: JoAnn Kranik
3 comments:
Thanks for sharing this poem, PJ.
I must tell you I have spend quite a bit of time the past couple of months pondering over the God and glory concept. I just could not understand why God needed all the glory and that who we are and what we do etc. is all to be for His glory...it sounded so selfish to my human mind....
Your post brought it up again and I have started doing research on this.
One book that is helping make it clear for me is Max Lucado's book'
"It's NOT about me!" It sounds like you have come to a place of peace with your suffering being for God's glory and purpose...I am still heading there but finally getting an understanding of this.
Renee~
You are so welcome! I'm not sure how at peace I am, but I am trying. I think I'm past the 'why' (for His glory) and struggling with the 'how' -- I'd like to see all this make sense, somehow! For all of us!
What is the Wall of Hope?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qyGlls8FeTw
"It is not a militant wall...it is not a political statement...It is people, standing shoulder to shoulder, to share the burden of this illness and to remember those who did not have anyone to share the pain. We (Those of us with Lyme) all have the same story. The only difference between stories is each is personal...it happened to us...other than that we could put one story on top of the next and with the exception of small jigs and jags they are carbon copies of each other."
The Wall is for people...sick people...and their families and friends. It is not for activism or making a statement other than,
Help Us.
Stand with us.
Lyme - Wall of Hope
http://vimeo.com/6664116
When I got sick
I found a lake of spit
Somewhere deep
In the ocean of life
When I lost my job
I found a lake of spit
Where people coming down
In the deep dark pit
When I lost my money
I got smelly crap
Deep in the pit where so many
coming to spit
When I got sick
I found a lake of spit
Somewhere deep
In the ocean of life
In the lake of spit
Everybody getting sick
And there is no care
No light, no life and no friends
When I lost my money
I got a smelly crap
Deep in the pit where so many
coming to spit
When I got sick
I found a lake of spit
Somewhere deep
In the ocean of life
In the lake of spit
Everybody getting sick
And there is no care
No light, no life and no friends
Spoken:
Dear Doctor`s chronic lyme is in fact a real condition and
I am living proof that chronic lyme is real disesse
we have a hope, we have a hope !
we have a hope ,but we need hellp as well !
we have a hope, we have a hope !
we have a hope ,but we need hellp as well !
music&lytic by Lazar Kostic
bkostic@telus.net
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