I have no fuzzy childhood memories. We didn't snuggle with mom & dad, we didn't crawl in bed with them when we were scared. In fact, I wasn't even allowed in my parents bedroom. My toes could not touch the carpet, but had to stay behind the line on the tile in the hallway. I'd stand outside the bedroom and holler that I was sick or cold or hungry or whatever and my mom would come out and take care of me then send me back to bed -- MY bed.
I want a different experience for my children, so we've allowed littleA to jump on the bed (a favorite) & to watch TV on our bed (Clifford the Big Red Dog is his top choice!), BUT .... Until this weekend my husband and I have still had a hard line on sleeping with us. From the beginning littleA has always slept in his own bed. What's different about this weekend? He's sick. Nothing specific - even the pediatrician said nothing is wrong with him, but he's obviously sick. Fever that goes down with Tylenol. General lethargy. Complaining of a 'hurt eye' which we think might be a headache. Not himself ... and a parent knows his/her child. So yesterday he napped on the couch with me -- literally sleeping on my chest. He did sleep in his bed last night until about 5:00 AM when he woke up crying. He was actually crying in his sleep so daddy scooped him up and brought him to bed with us. He snuggled back down, comforted by being with mommy & daddy, and allowed us all to get 2 more hours of sleep. He's still asleep!
We have friends who say "NO! Don't go there!" It's a slippery slope and once you let them in they'll keep coming back. Speaking from experience, I believe them. They've had a much sterner approach with their third one since they just broke the older two of crawling into bed every morning. They got tired of hands in their face & feet in the stomach.
So, our decision? As a general rule, he'll sleep in his own bed, but ... there are exceptions to every rule! When he's sick he needs sleep for his little body to heal and if sleeping with mommy & daddy gets him a couple extra hours of sleep, then where's the harm? It sure beats getting up at 5:00 AM with a cranky two-year old! Especially for me, who as most CFS'ers, find sleep extremely important.
3 comments:
I don't think there is any hard and fast rules either. We did not let the kids in our bed very often, but sometimes when they were really sick one would sleep with me and Joel would go to their bed and sleep.., i slept in their room, or we let them sleep in a sleeping bag on the floor by us so we could keep a track on their fevers, etc. I don't remember it being an issue. We went through a terrible experience where our lives were threatened by a mentally ill church member~ long story short, our children became very frightened by the experience involving police, etc. Our two youngest sons at that time came up every night and slept on the floor by our beds. We would often find them there in the morning when we woke up. How could we refuse? After a year they felt safe enough again and stopped on their own.
Each scenario is different. It all works out somehow!
I think we've always had a happy medium. My kids go to bed in their own bed. If they wake up sick or with a bad dream, they come into our bed. Typically, they grow out of it by about five or six.
Today is my youngest child's birthday. He just turned eight. He woke up before 7 am, and climbed into bed with me. It was very unusual! We snuggled, and it was clear I wasn't getting back to sleep, so we chatted a tiny bit. I shared memories of my sisters and when I was his age. It was sweet and magical, and it never would have happened if I had stern rules about our bed.
I used to be a hardliner...before we had our monster. Then our neighbor's 3 year old passed away when JMonster was about 18 months old. All the rules went out the window.
I say, if it works for you...go for it! They are only little for such a short time. And if tomorrow didn't come, which would you regret? Snuggle time? Or being the stern, no breaking the rules, parent?
I know which one would break MY heart.
That's not to say he sleeps with us every night. Or even that often. But we snuggle every night before bed, and those times he just wants to crawl in bed with us for a bit, we let him. I do usually take him back to his own bed after awhile...we all sleep better that way.
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