The Value of People

When I wrote my City Bumpkin post I stated that I wanted to instill the farm values I grew up with on my children.  I had a few people ask me about that, about specifically what these values are.

I think the primary value is the value of people!  It goes way back to when my great-grandparents were settling down as part of the Homestead Act.  When these settlers made their homes, the whole community gathered to help them build their houses.  They knew that without support they'd all perish.  This went for all aspects of life, not just house building.  As such, their lives revolved around family & friends.  This value has been passed down through the generations (four generations to be exact) and still exists today in rural communities.

Many people think rural life is slower than urban life.  In a sense this is true.  But let me tell you; farm life is busy!  Imagine your house & yard times 2,000.  Imagine your pets times 500.  Imagine your garden times 20.  There's more land, more animals, and more buildings to take care of.  Yet, there is always time to sit down for a cup of coffee or glass of iced tea with a friend.  There's a welcome mat at the door that literally means 'welcome' any time.  Drop-ins are not uncommon and are, in fact, welcome.  Food can be stretched; time can be made.  Despite the million things to do, the value is in the people and in the friendships and the knowledge exists that friendships can't be built on anything but time together and knowing each other.  Everything else can wait.

When my brother was born, my parents rushed me across the street to the neighbors in the middle of the night.  It didn't matter that there wasn't any family in the neighborhood because there was always someone to help out.  Someone is sick? Before you could blink a week of meals would have been organized.  A doctor's appointment?  Drop the kids off with some friends.  Babysitting co-ops?  No need - just ask & someone is willing to help.  No quid pro quo necessary.

In these farming communities, they know that friendships aren't based on common interests or activities.  They know that deep relationships can't be built by seeing each other weekly at church.  They know that convenience does not factor in to how someone is treated.  They know that, in fact, time together and a commitment to each other is the true basis for friendship.

The first & most important thing I want to teach my children is that other people come first.  Not when it's convenient.  Not just when you see them around.  But that they come first all the time.  I want them to know that it's respectful to speak when spoken to -- and today this includes responding to emails & Facebook posts.  I want to instill in my kids that it's rude to ignore someone verbally or electronically.  I want them to go above & beyond to help someone, whether they have to postpone doing something they want to do or drive out of the way to do it.  I hope to see them build true relationships by spending time with others and getting to know them, knowing what's going on in their life and demonstrating love by being there in the good times and the bad times.  I'll be truly blessed if my kids reach out to friends in need without being asked, but because they are close enough to their friends to know the need and respond.  I'll be blessed if they know that real friendships aren't just seeing each other around and calling someone a 'friend.' I'll be blessed if they welcome their friends to our house - for dinner, for a talk, or for fun.  I'll be blessed if they have true friends.




To me, this is the value of people.  This is what I want my kids to grow up knowing.